I remembered how I spent my new year last year. Desmond bought 6 big balloons with "2010" printed on them, to my ward and we watched the fireworks light up the sky, using a mini potable tv. At that time, I still cant talk or walk and was still badly infected. But I recalled i prayed very hard for a better and healthier 2010.
Another year has passed and so many things had changed in my life.
In Feb, after 6 months in ICU, hooked on the ventilator, doctors allowed the removal the trachaestomy tube which had helped me to breathe for half a year. The was the first indication that any recovery was possible for the very fragile and delirious Lilian. My resting heartbeat was still more than 130 per min.
In April, with intensive speech and physiotherapy, I was allowed my my first mouth of water. Subsequently, my first soft diet and my first murmur. I have not heard myself for very long and the nurses and doctor has never heard me speak.
After moving to the normal ward on 3rd May, I stood for the first time using the AJO. It was extremely painful to even straighten my knee, let alone walking. I stood for 2 secs during the first attempt.
In June, I started to walk slowly with a walking frame. This slowly evolved into a robotic walk which barely looks elegant. Every morning, afternoon and evening, I will have physiotherapy and I was very tired every day.
On 7th July, I was transferred to St Luke's Hospital and met many elderly friends during my short stay there. I was able to make myself to the toilet and shower. I started to learn how to climb stairs and carry some load while walking. I begin to make plans for returning home.
On 4th Aug, 3 days before I was discharged, my sister told me that Mama may be dying from colon cancer relapse. I cried the whole night and the following night too. I thought that she had been healthy all along and I hated myself for not being there for her when she needed me.
On 17th Sept, Mama passed away peacefully, with everyone around at her death bed. I begin my new life, with Papa, in a home which missed Mama's love and presence. I started going for chapel lessons with Desmond and Papa, and it had enriched my life every since.
On 27th Oct, I went for a day surgery to close my trachaestomy hole. It seemed to be the best decision I made this year as I never enjoyed better fresh air every since. Scars and wounds now ravaged my whole body but I don't care about them now.
I spent most of my time rehabilitating and learning new things during the last 3 months of this year. I researched on home buying, spent a considerable amount of time on the spa saga, made scrapbooks for friends, and also spend quality time with Papa, sister, Desmond and Desmond's mum. I rescheduled and made plans for my wedding in Oct 2011. I bid goodbye to my twenty-something friends and joined the exclusive 30's club on 6th Dec. I can now manage walking 1-2 hours in the shopping centre before stopping for a rest.
It had been an eventful year, a year which changed my life forever. I lost some friends and made new ones. I start learning to take things slowly and cherish the people around me. And now I am going to start work soon, after 17 months of break.
I hope I am ready to go, not run. As I continue with my journey, I thank God and my dear family and friends for being there for me when I needed them the most. And I know Mama is shining down on me from heaven.
Wish that everyone will be in the pink of health. I love all of you.
