For all the dear friends who have been encouraging me through this ordeal, and for my own personal keepsake, I have decided to record down as much details as I can of the events that took place for the past year.
On the morning of 7th August, the last 4th day of my H1N1 quarantine, I felt exceptionally terrible. I was breathless in bed and even grasp for breathe when eating breakfast. We immediately revisited the GP who would later refer me to NUS for a more detailed checkup. The GP suspected bronchitis.
As I arrived at NUH, my condition deteriorated quickly. Immediately put on a drip and taken blood and X RAY, the medical officers confirmed that my lungs are "infected". I had to be admitted. I remembered sms-ing Desmond who was waiting in the visitor lounge to inform my parents that I will be hospitalised for "a few days" for lung treatment. I was not worried as I was not supposed to be the H1N1 high risk group. My GP has said that I can recover without taking Tamiflu. As my SpO2 was not healthy, I was transferred to Ward 26 - Medical ICU for further observations.
I kept coughing all the way to ICU. My lungs felt like flooding up and I was very breathless. When I finally get hooked up to monitors in the ICU, my phlegm started to dispel out. Coughing became more and more tedious, more and more intense. This continued for a short while, when I coughed out a mixture of water, phlegm and blood. At that moment, I felt that my lungs are totally blocked, I cannot breathe through my water soaked lungs. I half shouted to the nurse "I cant breathe!".The last I can remember is that I turned around to look at the SpO2 monitor which showed 75% (Anything less than 88% is dangerous). I then fainted.
I cannot remember anything after the above event, as I was placed under sedation and ventilator to help my lungs to breathe. Subsequently I was told that I has a major operation to remove the water and blood clots in my lungs and heart. The operation was on 8th August 2009.
How I hoped that that will be the end of my ordeal. Unfortunately, a few days after the operation, my heart and lungs were still unable to function on their own as they were badly infected by the virus. As such, I had to be placed on an ECMO machine ( Extracorporeal Membrane Oxygenation). A simplified explanation of ECMO (from Wiki):
"An ECMO machine is similar to a heart-lung machine. To initiate ECMO, cannulae are placed in large blood vessels to provide access to the patient's blood. Anticoagulant drugs, usually heparin, are given to prevent blood clotting. The ECMO machine continuously pumps blood from the patient through a "membrane oxygenator" that imitates the gas exchange process of the lungs, i.e. it removes carbon dioxide and adds oxygen. Oxygenated blood is then returned to the patient.."
This procedure was considered as the last resort as there will be many complications which may arise from its use, such as stroke, excessive bleeding etc. This treatment was continued for another grueling 2 weeks. If my condition deteriorate during this period of time, I will staring right in to the eyes of death. Furthermore, ECMO has never been a proven safe method.
The next moment which I could recall, is when I was semi-conscious. I had a very long nightmare which I can remember clearly even until now. The nightmare was about how I was captured by a group of masked terrorists and brought to a faraway land. For most of the time, I was tied up, gagged and tortured. The nightmare ended when my sister brought the terrorists up in a flight and threw them one by one off the plane. A real sadist dream but not as cruel as the reality.
Sometime in late August, I woke up from my long sleep. Lying motionless on the bed in CT ICU, I could not move my whole body, I could not speak and I could not eat. Countless tubes were attached to my nose, throat, limbs and body. I was using a ventilator to breathe and there was a trachea hole in my airway. I could barely open my eyes. I felt very, very exhausted.
I saw my family and Desmond around me. If I had the strength, I would have cried.
